What On Earth Are We Fighting For?

I don't regret the choices that I've made in the past but I certainly now have come to the point where I feel a bit panicked and (gulp) trapped. An artist that feels anything but freedom is simply NOT a good thing, in my book.

We've come reborn in to this new day and age where we finally notice opportunities waking up all around us! What to do? ACT ON THEM! What not to do? Feel bad for the choices we've previously made that we think might not work out for us now.

It's been a very tedious slow uphill climb....

But it's what I've been doing for years! Job after job, even feeling mistreated at times wondering why I bother- just to get enough money to keep doing what I love! I never gave up because frankly, it was all I ever knew. It was the heaven on earth to me. Even through my worst times, I could actually express emotional and sometimes confused pain - through melody.

The odds most of the time never looked good for me and I began feeling resentful of anyone who was closer to success than me. Maybe they were focused on the exciting things to come, no matter what they were. The hidden or unseen possibilities. Me? I was focused on just getting noticed by anyone who cared, making sure they'd stick around to give me any sense of worth. I wanted to evolve but it was ME holding myself back. Honestly, I knew I would never actually be good enough, simply based on my LIMITING beliefs.

My eyes saw-and what I saw met with deep embedded doubts. Those doubts fed on it's own energy which mixed with age old anger, rage, depression, defeat, unworthiness, stupidity, and of course, mental illness in my DNA (unproven, of course).

Through that thick massive lens of psychedelic insanity, I was able to process it all and see it exactly for what it was....that psychedelic insanity within my own treasured dreamworld.
And I thought that would actually MAKE me be a better artist. But I was MISERABLE!!!! Seriously, I don't envy heroes passed.....oooh, think I'll have to make a song out of that.
At this point, I've had enough torture. I had enough back in October 2013 after a major Facebook meltdown. Those who were there, I think they remember.

I'd like to also bring up that Alan Haber of Pure Pop Radio...(sigh)...he was my opportunity to cut the years of this burdon from my energy body. I worked hours on my part of this interview but it was Alan who allowed me to. It was the interview to end all other interviews. I'd never talk about the person I used to be ever again...well, that was my intention. I was ready to evolve. To evolve the way I should have evolved long ago.

I am here to serve! Yes, that's what I thought I'd been doing all these years, but it was not in any state of flow. What were my reasons of serving? To make others feel sorry for me and tell me everything I was doing was for a reason? Was it to prove to the bullies in my school that I really was worthy of love? Why do they get everything and I get bullied? Wait....why are they bullying me in the first place? We were each others best teachers! They needed me just as much as I needed them. Still....I only knew to carry it with me through every situation in adulthood.

Sorry psychologists-you were amazing, but we've even evolved there! Trying to pick apart each tiny piece of every moment....and remember, we only remember the last time we remember things, and try to "explpore" it so we can "work it out". What a long ongoing process. But at the time, I think it was all my brain could handle. And so I kept slowly chipping away at my defectiveness.
And now that I've reached the part where I  know I don't need to go any further in to, at least not at this time, I can remember where I'm at now! Much more smarter, awake, aware and able! The best part is that I'm not doing any of this alone!

It seems that having "a fight" at all, brings change. There is no fight. Just the lesson. I got the lesson...my old self thinks they got it too late. My awakened finds that it's all simply beautiful and no matter where I "jump" from, it's going to work out in the end. The Universe has my back because I believe in what I do! (amen).

And so as I get back what "I think" (remember-psychedelic insanity) I may have given away long ago, I remember that I CAN make ANYTHING work, no matter where I stand! I CAN choose to stop "being" in an energy of feeling despair. "Being" in an energy of feeling conquered. "Being" in the energy of feeling trapped, panicked or defeated. It's NOW that I  have to work with. It's NOW that I have the lessons I've learned to simply ....jump.

If jumping is a game then....game on.

Photo: Taken by Tom Richards. I have no clue who touched it up, but I really appreciate finding it on the internet. THANK YOU!

Visualizing in the Fourth Dimension!

Today's VIDEO Blab, was originally called "Talking in Frequencies" but quickly turned into test then in to testing test. It could have potentially been a disaster, yet I believe everything actually worked out well! With Angie being the host for this week, I felt a lot more relaxed-and a wee bit more talkative than usual! It was all good because I needed some direction and some good focused advice. Angie is superb at that sort of thing!

So I brought up what I considered the strangest energetic dream experience EVER! Seriously, it felt so real that someone had tried to invade my space and take away my choice to choose. I felt sick that morning when I woke up. Angela explained how we can give that energy back. She helped me remember how NO ONE and NOTHING "out there" can actually ever hurt us. Why? Because we are undying energy. And we are certainly linked in love and oneness, yet the programs and the Ego mind sometimes get a little over protective and a bit aggressive. But then, it's pretty much the only thing they know how to do. Protect us at all costs, even if it could emotionally hurt us, thinking it's protection. Luckily, "they" are not ME and Me is all that is. Yes...that COULD be a lyric.

So today I've chosen gratitude for this knowledge and the remembering from within. I choose to give back that energy so that it is no longer inside me.  Thank you for the experience and for the lesson.

VISION BOARDS

Then we discussed vision boards! OOOOOOH how I love a good vision board when I REALLY want something! This "something" is my driving force! With the walls I've recently knocked down, I've discovered the thing I've been keeping at arms length is still indeed wanting to create create create and go go go! So now I'm going to try it again, but on a different level and with some brand newly found courage!

HOW VISUALIZING WITH VISION BOARDS AND THE 4TH DIMENSION HAVE WORKED FOR ME IN THE PAST

The last time I made a vision board it was for my delightful Malibu beach home! I LOVED how this home felt inside me! I also had a friend included in this visual, who lived about 2 houses down and who would come over for coffee at least once a week to chat with me on the balcony. We'd talk about subjects that would inspire us and that would and feed our spirits. She was the perfect friend. Little did I know that a year later I was actually living it without even realizing it!
Seven months ago I unexpectidly moved in to a better home with a yard that I could actually enjoy! This would be the same feeling as the Malibu beach home! The friend about 2 houses down came to be Angela Estes! The perfect friend who likes the same things as me! This recent discovery was like a miracle to me, since I had no idea how to create that kind of friend, since it was a friend I'd never had before. Now I get to chat with this friend through blabs, masterminds and whatever else comes our way. The best part is that it keeps growing with more and more of that good feeling-more happy experiences, more enjoyable friends...it's really something I count high on my list of gratitude!

VIDEO Blab of my uber successful experiences with past visualizing.

VIDEO Blab on my donations rant and tithing, along with me talking to angels.

Mychols & Friends Blabs at Fabulous Playground Youtube Channel.

Angela's blog on Vision Boards

Resources:

Joe Vitale The Fourth Dimension Process 

Abraham-Hicks on Rampaging 

Social Anxiety in a Connected World!

So for this week, I've been studying communication with others. For someone who's grown up believing they have a social anxiety disorder (that would be me), it was a must!

Throughout my life's journey, I'd found that if I went to a concert, large club, or anywhere where there would be large masses of people (and energy), I'd have feelings of anxiousness where I almost couldn't cope-even for my own live performances, I'd feel the need to fall asleep-it was just overbearing. It wouldn't come till later in life, that I realized I did much better if I arrived at parties first-or I'd just give the parties, where I could greet people one at a time (rather than all at once!)

This old social anxiety program was most likely based on past events, memories, and/or traumas for me, and were soon filled with my belief of  other people's "rolls" and "labels", as well. I had been separating myself and hiding behind my own emotional collection of garbage, bringing with me the same unwanted experience every time.

Through my studies this week, I realized that the times where I was not present, were times I was not bringing who I REALLY was to others.

I was bringing my expectation of things going wrong and missing out on any potential new gifts that I could have received instead.The baggage I'd been bringing with me to events were giving me the very low undesired experiences. Imagine walking in to a party and feeling so much pain every single time! That's what the Ego mind does to protect us. While keeping new "potential" dangers out, we get to be enclosed and trapped within the memories of previous pain.

This was a deep limiting belief for me and I am no longer bringing old baggage to the party! No more assuming I'll have the same experience every time. Our thoughts have already created what is happening now! If we don't like where we are now, it's not too late to change it. It's never too late.

And so with my heavy deep clearing, there was also the physical one. I'll start with, DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. I had literally felt nausea after this particular clearing. I had also felt a lot of madness coming up. I admit it. It scared me. I thought this was all supposed to be a good thing, but the madness was still there. It was all so exhausting that I finally laid down and as quickly as my head hit the pillow, I fell in to a deep sleep-just like when I used to experience the "social anxiety" program.

I was grateful for phone alarm to wake me up and remind me of the community call going on that night about how we connect with others.

Through this group call, I connected to a conversation that assisted me with the green light that "purging" was a good thing. I hadn't realized that my judgment of this purge had brought on a feeling of madness. The physical feeling of nausea was probably giving me feelings of worry...which brought on feelings of insanity.

I really don't have much insight on the stories behind the social anxiety, and I'm not sure they really matter to me at this point, but if those stories come up, It's very likely that the old emotional pain will not come with it.

Still, there is the lingering choice to the child ready to evolve from social anxiety.

Do we go in to situations with expectations of everything going right? SURE! It's already worked well for me! I had even received a comment from a stranger that I was actually glowing that day! I made the choice and I designed everything to go right! My cup was full! I was unstoppable!

The other choice is to go into situations with no expectations at all. View each and every moment as the brand new experience that it is. As long as we are in that moment cleared self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, we certainly stand a VERY STRONG CHANCE for many nice surprises! Here is where we might find inspiration that we weren't even planning on, or maybe we meet and connect with someone that aligns within our own current journey.

We can also do the baby step method, involving each choice.

Step one: Plan for things to go right. Give yourself reasons as to WHY they will go right!
When you've mastered this through experiencing it's positive outcomes, you are on to the next step.

Step 2: Make time to meditate! Practice quieting the mind and allowing thoughts to pass without judgment. Witnessing the world and all the experiences that come with it, as the spiritual observer.

***TIP: The spiritual observer can be found behind the eyes and within presence.

When we are present, we are out of programming.

I love you I love you I love you.

The Heart Chakra!

When we are balanced within our heart chakra we experience feelings of being able to express love and to give it. We are compassionate, joyful and content. 

If we are out of balance in the heart chakra, we may feel unable to give and receive unconditional love. We might fall into depression with feelings of being disconnected or withdrawn. We might become judgmental, intolerant or jealous. Oh the unfairness! 

This kind of energy can make us not just emotionally sick, but also physically sick in so many ways! 

I was able to find a deep shadow in my own heart chakra when I was very recently triggered in the physical realm. I fell and hit my head pretty badly and then caught a cold. I believe it was all from fighting with this shadow for days. I kept fighting with it until finally enough was enough. I went and had a professional clearing done on myself! 

The gift, and deep rooted program I found I was uncovering, was a self-doubt program I'd been holding on to. From being triggered, I was experiencing withdrawal and anger, with absolutely no presence of love whatsoever. 

Whether or not this program of self-doubt was inherited or created from when I was a child, it really didn't matter. It was the current stagnant energy waiting to be recognized and released. 

And what about the people in our lives that happen to trigger our pain energy? Do they have something to do with the strength of the pain we might be feeling?  Maybe if they have been a strong presence and force in our lives, the pain we are feeling is really a moment of truth. The truth that those in our lives who used to be a huge part of it, those whom we still hold love for, may now be growing apart from us.

For me, this seems to make some sense. The energies we once aligned well with within the heart, we may not be aligning well with anymore. We are ready to release certain patterns with certain people. 

We cannot expect our growth and expansion to be easily understood, but hopefully we can find it to be respected and honored, because only we know our own life purpose. Only we know our own darkest shadows as we heal them, and we thank those who helped us to even see them at all. 

As we continue to clear our chakras to allow the flow of energy, we are allowing open space for endless flows of what we really want.

Now we get to say, "Thank you to those who have, and will, trigger me. Thank you for exposing the shadow that has been lurking within me."

"BE the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi 

So again, it's important to clear (or balance) all the 7 main chakras together, not just one, to allow for the full flow of energy to happen.

***NOTE: For very deep emotional traumas, it is always suggested to seek medical advice for that. 

HEART CHAKRA 

The heart chakra element is air.

The heart chakra color is bright grass green and/or pink/red/white.

The heart chakra is the 4th chakra.

The heart chakra sense is  touch.

The heart chakra represents unconditional love and compassion.

The mental action of the heart chakra is passion. 

Note: Key of F.

The heart chakra mantra: Yam.

Scents/Essential Oils Associated with the Heart Chakra

Bergamot: Self-Acceptance.                                                               

Eucalyptus: Physical healing from deep emotional issues that can cause sickness.                                 Peppermint: Bringing JOY to the heart and soul from a place of intense depression. 

Melissa: The oil of light. Awakening the soul to it's truth.
Rose: The oil of Divine Love.

Heart Chakra Bath Soak Recipe

1/2 cup - 1 cup of Epson Salts mixed with 2-3 drops each of Peppermint (heart and soul JOY connection), Lavender (to calm insecurities and to open the expression of the heart and soul), and Rosemary (to readjust back to the truth of the heart and soul). Soak in this clearing bath for 20 minutes or more.

Crystals and Gems Associated with the Heart Chakra

Rose quartz is my personal favorite as a stone for opening to personal love and healing. 

Some green crystals associated with the heart chakra are:

Jade - Balancing the heart chakra.

Emerald - Opening the heart chakra.

Peridot - Awakening the heart chakra.

Green Tourmaline: Activating the heart chakra.

Make sure to clean and clear your crystals regularly for any negative energy that might get accumulated within them over time. I use a Citrine crystal to clear all my crystals and gems. 

Other ways to clean and clear a crystal: 

24 hours of sun or moon exposure (or both).

Smudging your crystal/s with sage.

Using your own positive energy and strong intention.

Placing your crystal/s in a clean and clear running creek or stream for 2 hours. 

More heart chakra mantras:

"I forgive myself"

"I Completely Love & Accept Myself"

"I am open to love and kindness"

"I AM LOVE"

"I AM infinite light!"