Social Anxiety in a Connected World!
So for this week, I've been studying communication with others. For someone who's grown up believing they have a social anxiety disorder (that would be me), it was a must!
Throughout my life's journey, I'd found that if I went to a concert, large club, or anywhere where there would be large masses of people (and energy), I'd have feelings of anxiousness where I almost couldn't cope-even for my own live performances, I'd feel the need to fall asleep-it was just overbearing. It wouldn't come till later in life, that I realized I did much better if I arrived at parties first-or I'd just give the parties, where I could greet people one at a time (rather than all at once!)
This old social anxiety program was most likely based on past events, memories, and/or traumas for me, and were soon filled with my belief of other people's "rolls" and "labels", as well. I had been separating myself and hiding behind my own emotional collection of garbage, bringing with me the same unwanted experience every time.
Through my studies this week, I realized that the times where I was not present, were times I was not bringing who I REALLY was to others.
I was bringing my expectation of things going wrong and missing out on any potential new gifts that I could have received instead.The baggage I'd been bringing with me to events were giving me the very low undesired experiences. Imagine walking in to a party and feeling so much pain every single time! That's what the Ego mind does to protect us. While keeping new "potential" dangers out, we get to be enclosed and trapped within the memories of previous pain.
This was a deep limiting belief for me and I am no longer bringing old baggage to the party! No more assuming I'll have the same experience every time. Our thoughts have already created what is happening now! If we don't like where we are now, it's not too late to change it. It's never too late.
And so with my heavy deep clearing, there was also the physical one. I'll start with, DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. I had literally felt nausea after this particular clearing. I had also felt a lot of madness coming up. I admit it. It scared me. I thought this was all supposed to be a good thing, but the madness was still there. It was all so exhausting that I finally laid down and as quickly as my head hit the pillow, I fell in to a deep sleep-just like when I used to experience the "social anxiety" program.
I was grateful for phone alarm to wake me up and remind me of the community call going on that night about how we connect with others.
Through this group call, I connected to a conversation that assisted me with the green light that "purging" was a good thing. I hadn't realized that my judgment of this purge had brought on a feeling of madness. The physical feeling of nausea was probably giving me feelings of worry...which brought on feelings of insanity.
I really don't have much insight on the stories behind the social anxiety, and I'm not sure they really matter to me at this point, but if those stories come up, It's very likely that the old emotional pain will not come with it.
Still, there is the lingering choice to the child ready to evolve from social anxiety.
Do we go in to situations with expectations of everything going right? SURE! It's already worked well for me! I had even received a comment from a stranger that I was actually glowing that day! I made the choice and I designed everything to go right! My cup was full! I was unstoppable!
The other choice is to go into situations with no expectations at all. View each and every moment as the brand new experience that it is. As long as we are in that moment cleared self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, we certainly stand a VERY STRONG CHANCE for many nice surprises! Here is where we might find inspiration that we weren't even planning on, or maybe we meet and connect with someone that aligns within our own current journey.
We can also do the baby step method, involving each choice.
Step one: Plan for things to go right. Give yourself reasons as to WHY they will go right!
When you've mastered this through experiencing it's positive outcomes, you are on to the next step.
Step 2: Make time to meditate! Practice quieting the mind and allowing thoughts to pass without judgment. Witnessing the world and all the experiences that come with it, as the spiritual observer.
***TIP: The spiritual observer can be found behind the eyes and within presence.
When we are present, we are out of programming.
I love you I love you I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment